What's on my nails #10

Firstly, yes I have finally gotten round to cutting those talons I was growing! I didn't have much choice after two of them snapped on my right hand (that'll teach me) but hopefully it won't take long for them to grow back. I must admit I much prefer this length - so much more manageable and I can type without hitting half a dozen keys at once.

Now, onto the real reason you're here, that gorgeous vivid turquoise currently adorning my nails. Isn't it just fab? With the weather finally taking a turn for the sunnier it's definitely time for a spring shade and this Barry M Gelly polish in Guava fits the bill nicely. It's bright and cheerful and if a polish could be happy then this one definitely would be. Unfortunately I found the staying power of this polish a little disappointing but I have been quite hard on my hands recently so it I'll reserve judgement until it's had another outing.

What's bringing your nails into glorious spring?

New Dressing Table

Ok my makeup collection may be tiny compared to most beauty bloggers but since getting into reading and then writing beauty blogs it has had a bit of a growth spurt and outgrown its little green storage baskets in our compact and bijou (i.e. minuscule) bathroom. Plus the bathroom ain't really the best place to be keeping it what with all the steam and soap flying about. So recently I set about finding it a new home...

We don't use our spare room much so it's been feeling a bit unloved but it happened to have the perfect spot for a dressing table area atop a chest of drawers, with the top draw providing plenty of storage space. Add a nice mirror, a pair of lamps, some storage baskets and some pots and the job is, as they say, a good 'un!

Chest of drawers - Aneboda by IKEA (no longer available but Austmarka is virtually identical)

Mirror - Living Silver Bevelled Triple Dressing Table Mirror, Argos

Lamps - I've had these for years and can't remember where they came from but these Hyatt table lamps from Argos offer a similar lighting effect.

Storage Baskets (set of three) - Tesco Home (I can't see them online but they seem to be widely available in-store)

Brush pot and Glasses - stolen from my desk and my kitchen cupboard!

I have to say, though, no matter how pretty that mirror is or how much the organised storage pleases my inner librarian, the thing I like most is my tiny mini wheelie bin. I've no idea where it came from but I think it's pretty funky. If only I could find some mini bin liners for it!

Do you have a dedicated dressing table space?

Conversations with Dog

As I write this Keeta, our Siberian husky, is stretched out on the couch with her head resting on my left arm. In fact she's making my arm go dead but she looks so content and sleepy I haven't got the heart to move her. She's a lovely creature who is in equal measure affectionate, stubborn, independent, excitable, greedy, lazy and daft. She's also addicted to cheese and Haribo which is why my packet of fizzy cola bottles is cunning hidden under a cushion next to me. She knows they're there and whenever I rustle the packet she grumbles at me.

Huskies are quite vocal dogs and although ours is quieter than some (she rarely howls, despite Mr P spending hours trying to encourage her with some interesting wolf impressions) she nevertheless let's us know when she wants something. If you have a pet, especially a dog, have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a proper conversation with them? Here are a few things I can imagine Keeta saying if she suddenly mastered English...

On being told she's not having any of my cheese sandwich...

Keeta: I suppose that's fair, it is your sandwich, but I like cheese. Besides, I'm cute and you love me. Please can I have some? Pleeeeeeeeeease? I'll just sit right here next to you while you think about it.

When one of us picks up her collar...

Keeta: That was my collar. That means I'm going somewhere! YES! Where are we going? Are we going in the car? Are we going for a walk? I'm so excited! What are we doing? Oh god, I hope it's not the vet. No I can't sit still. I'm far too excited! Lemme out! FREEDOM!!! (By which time we've usually just  about managed to get her collar on her)

On opening a packet of Haribo...

Keeta: Those are jelly sweets aren't they? I love those! Can I have one? Please? PLEASE? I'm soooo hungry. I don't care if you hide them under a cushion, I know they're there. I love you! Give me a sweetie! PLEASE! Ok, just give me a sweetie NOW!!!

On deciding she wants to go lie on our bed...

Keeta: You two look tired, you should go lie down. I know you're watching TV but you have a perfectly good TV upstairs. Come on! Look, I want to go chill out and your bed is so comfy! I promise I won't take over the whole bed, I'll make sure you have a little bit of space too. I know I'm not allowed upstairs on my own so please will you come with me? I just want to snuggle up with you all comfy like.

On meeting a very small dog...

Keeta: Lunch?

(To be fair she usually just wants to play but huskies are very rough and mouthy when they play, which small dogs tend not to appreciate!)

Do you have any pets? What do you think they would say if they could talk?

Thin

I felt compelled to write an extra post this week in honour of National Eating Disorder Awareness week, which is this very week. Eating disorders are an issue rather close to my heart as I suffered with anorexia and depression during my late teens and although my relationship with food is a little better 10yrs on my body and I are still uneasy bedfellows.

To put no finer point on it I starved myself from a healthy 11.5st and size 14 (I'm 5ft 7 inches) down to a skeletal 6st. At my smallest I was a size 4-6. I was a little plump to begin with, but by no means overweight, yet I was convinced I was a huge, disgusting whale which no one would ever find attractive. I honestly believed the key to being happier was to lose weight, to be skinny. I was wrong.

Over the course of a year I cut all fat from my diet and then started reducing my calorie intake ultimately down to less than 100 a day. I existed (you can't call it living when you barely have the energy to walk up a flight of stairs) on water and thinks like sugar free jelly pots. And it worked - I lost a lot of weight and quickly - but I also destroyed my body. My breasts stopped growing and have never started again (I am a 32A on a good day), my hair became thin and dry, my skin was sallow, my eyes sunken and the widest part of my legs was my knees. My periods stopped, I was constantly shattered and freezing cold even in the middle of summer. Yet I ignored all of these negative things because I thought I looked good.

I don't think my parents knew what to do. They never really tackled me on my secretive eating habits (I used to pretend I'd already eaten or take food up to my room and hide it so they would think I'd eaten it). It wasn't their fault - they just didn't know what to do and we were never the sort of family that talked openly about feelings or emotional stuff. Fortunately I had some amazing friends and teachers who did see what was happening and who did try to help. I can vividly remember my A Level chemistry teacher sitting me down and telling me, in the gentlest way, that if I did not start to improve the school would consider having me sectioned. They never did but that was a turning point. 

A couple of months later I started to eat again, very slowly as my body couldn't handle more than a mouthful without me throwing up at first. Slowly I gained the tiniest bit of weight and it terrified me. I felt out of control and that's the crux of it. Anorexia isn't really about food, even if it may start out with a desire to lose weight - it's about exerting control over something. Now I can recognise that I am a total control freak and put that to constructive use but as a teenager, when so much is happening to you that you can't control,  that side of my nature was destructive.

10yrs on I suppose you could say I'm cured. I am a healthy weight and I eat regularly. I even eat junk food. That need to control, though, is still with me. If I find myself in a stressful situation I still start to unconsciously restrict my eating, almost like a reflex, but at least now I can recognise it and take steps to prevent it becoming an issue. I still compare myself to others all the time and find myself wanting. I wore a size 10 pencil skirt and size 6 jumper today but still had moments where I felt big, clumsy and fat even though my rational mind knows I'm not. I refuse to have scales in the house and don't know what I weigh because if I did there would be the potential to obsess over it.

I don't think you're ever totally "cured" of something like that, but what I do believe 100% is that you can learn to live with it! You can learn to control the impulse to control. I don't completely blame the media and images of tiny women, often with airbrushed or otherwise enhanced bodies, but they certainly did have a negative impact on my teenage mind. They absolutely do not help and I get really angry when I read magazines which promote healthy body image while using super skinny models on their fashion pages. Hypocrites! The thing is according to the vast majority of men I've spoken to, including my husband, they don't find those skinny women sexy. Go figure.

I know this has been possibly the longest post ever but I did say this was an issue close to my heart. If sharing my experience can help someone recognise a problem with themselves or their friend or family member then it was worth if. If you are worried about someone or yourself then talk to someone, maybe a GP or a teacher or a friend. Don't assume that dieting and being funny with food is just a normal teenage or female thing (anorexia affects men too). And please please don't fall into the trap of thinking that what you see in magazines is a true image of beauty which you must emulate. It isn't.

February Favourites

Gosh, another month gone already? I know February's the short one but it seems to have just flown by! Thankfully that means spring is getting that wee bit closer (yippee!) but until it lands here are a few of my favourite things from the last four weeks.

My skin is having a little mini freak out at the moment. It's dehydrated, irritated and dear lord the blemishes! Fortunately I rediscovered an old favourite in the Clinique Anti Blemish Solutions Clear Blemish Gel and put it straight back into service to try and tackle the worst eruptions. Applied at night it forms a little seal over the spot, dries it up and draws all the yucky stuff out (gross) so irritation is calmed and the spot heals quicker. I have to admit it stings a bit and can leave a bit of a dry patch while it's doing its thing but it most definitely helps, especially when teamed with tea tree oil.

Something else saving my skin at the moment, or at least the foundation on it, is Soap & Glory's One Heck of a Blot. My office has horrible air quality when it's busy which dries my skin out, and it in turn retaliates by becoming oily so that by the afternoon I've got more than my fair share of forehead "glow" going on. However, gently dabbing this across it restores my preferred matte look without emphasising either my pores or my expression lines. It's my first foray into S&G makeup but I doubt it'll be my last.

Now that my hair is shorter it seems to look dirtier quicker than when I had epic lengths to hide the third day grit but washing too often leaves it dull and dry so I've been dipping my toe in the world of dry shampoos. I hate the smell of pretty much all the Batiste offerings and the Superdrug one I tried was totally ineffective but having seen the hype for Dove Style+Care Dry Shampoo I figured it was worth a try, and I'm happy to report that the hype was well deserved. It feels like it actually cleans rather than just masking the mucky bits, it doesn't leave white residue all over my black hair (not a good look) and it smells fresh but not overpowering. It even adds a nice dose of volume. Lovely!

On a totally random note one of my favourite finds this month is a simple anti-perspirant. One of my pet peeves is how difficult it is to find a truly fragrance free spray to keep me feeling fresh - many claim to be but there's always a hint of something lurking in there! I love the perfumes I wear so I don't want my deodorant interfering with them and fortunately this Sure Pure Protection genuinely doesn't have any scent whatsoever. Nor does it have any alcohol, parabens or colourants. Plus it's genuinely effective and the dinky compressed version is perfectly handbag sized for top ups on a long day. Sometimes it's the simple things in life, dontcha think?

My final favourite isn't a product as such but I've been enjoying it so much I had to share. I've been using Trilogy Organic Rosehip Oil every night for the last couple of months but recently I've started taking the time to do a good five minutes of facial massage rather than just slapping it on. The idea is to help with drainage to try and stop those pesky groups of spots forming in the lower areas of the face. I think it actually does help because despite my skin's little hissy fit recently my chin and most of my jawline, usually prime blemish real estate, have remained reasonably clear. It's also really relaxing so it's the perfect little extra step to help me chill out before bedtime.

February is traditionally miserable but what's been making your month that little bit brighter?

What's on my nails #9

Firstly, I admit my nails are getting a tad long but I really haven't had time to sit down and do a proper manicure for ages! I don't like them too short but talons make it difficult to type so they will be shorter by next week.

This week I've avoided bright, eye catching colours as I think they can look a little much on very long nails. Instead I've opted for something more toned down, neutral and undeniably pretty, even if I do say so myself. Plus this manicure reminds me a lot of how my wedding nails looked so it feels sort of romantic nostalgic for me too.

After base coat I applied two coats of Ciaté Amazing Gracie, a beautiful rose-tinted ballet slipper pink. This isn't an opaque polish, more of a nail perfecting tint which would be perfect for a traditional French manicure or a simple barely there manicure. Over that I added one coat of No7 Pearly Pink, which I don't think is available anymore (I inherited my bottle from my mum) but is basically a very sheer pink/gold shimmer. There are plenty of similar polishes around, or you could opt for something with a lilac shimmer for more of a spring pop.

Do you like the understated nail look or are you all about the brights?

Learning to Love Liner

My eyes are my favourite facial feature and I probably spend proportionately more time making them up than the rest of my face. Although my makeup collection is rather modest by beauty blogger standards I must admit the majority of it is eye based and although I'm always looking for new tips on how to do different looks I'm generally happy with my day to day look. However, there was one product I'd always wanted to master but never seemed to get right - liquid liner. Well, the time has come to woman up and learn!

I have two felt tip liners - the Kiko Ultimate Pen Long Wear Eyeliner, which has quite a fine tip tapering to a very fine point, and the No7 Stay Precise Felt Tip Liner, which is slightly thicker but more tapered. Both are very black and last for ages but I think the Kiko one slightly has the longevity edge. Both are very simple to use with good ink flow and being slim are well suited the liner novice like myself. Like all felt tip liners they're best stored cap down to prevent them drying out.

I'm still no expert but now at least I'm confident I can manage a reasonable line along my lashes. So here are the tips that really helped me get to grips with it:

• If shaky hands are an issue (they certainly are for me) then try resting your elbow on a hard surface so you're not trying to support the weight of your arm while drawing your line.
• Don't try and draw your line in one go unless you're super confident. Go from the inner corner to the middle then from the middle to the outer corner so you end up with the thickest part of the line on the outer corner.
• I often find my lashes, which are quite long, get in the way so I simply hold them out of the way with my other hand leaving a clear canvas to draw on. 
• If you're not sure where to place a flick then stick a post-it note along the line between the outer corner of your eye and the tip of your brow.  
• Get yourself on YouTube and check out some tutorials to see exactly how its done. There are loads of good ones out there, including some which will show you the best line to suit your eye shape.
• As the saying goes, practice makes perfect and that's certainly true here. I got into the habit of trying out my line before I took my makeup off each night for a fortnight and I improved really quickly. Just keep trying tit out and eventually you'll find a way of doing it that works for you.   

Applying liquid liner is definitely a skill but it's not impossible!

Are you a liquid liner expert or a novice like me?